As a Spiritual Life Coach, I am always struck by the innate and natural desire to give, to be of service and make a meaningful contribution to life. True giving is not something we do because we “should”. It is a very powerful spiritual practice.

Metta is one such practice, and it is a way to give a gift that is the perfect fit for everyone, a gift to give at anytime, and one that increases your own sense of well-being each time you give it. (You’ll feel even better when you give this to those ‘difficult’ people, and to those you’d rather not think about.)

But here’s the most important part. In order to give this gift, you must first give it to yourself.

Metta is a gift we give first to ourselves in order to be able to give it to others. It is a powerful process for cultivating love, forgiveness, peace and happiness within, so that we can then extend these to others. This particular gift has great transformational powers for both giver and receiver.

In her book Lovingkindness, Sharon Salzberg describes the practice of Metta, a process for sharing the light of our inner being, our unique presence and true nature. She explains that the word ‘metta’ comes from two root words, meaning gentleness and friendliness, which has been translated as lovingkindness, or gentle friendship to oneself and others. Doesn’t this sound like a gift we can all use?

Below is the process, with portions taken from Sharon Salzberg’s book:

Metta practice is a process of gently repeating phrases that are meaningful in terms of what we wish, first for ourselves and then for others. The process begins with befriending ourselves. After we are able to give the gift of lovingkindness to ourselves, we offer it to others, those we love and those we are close to, followed by those we are neutral toward, and then extending it to those we feel negatively toward, and finally to all living beings.

Here is one version of how it is done:

Begin with sitting comfortably for five minutes, in a relaxed way, with closed eyes and letting go of analysis and expectation as much as possible. Reflect on the goodness within you, or on any act of kindness. Get in touch with the feelings of friendship and love in whatever way works for you.

Gently begin repeating the following four phrases, or ones that are similar, letting them settle into your mind and heart.

• “May I be free from danger.”
• “May I have mental happiness.”
• “May I have physical happiness.”
• “May I have ease of well-being.”

Feel free to experiment and create phrases that capture the essence of these aspirations but may have more significance to you personally.

Repeat the aspirations until you become comfortable with giving and receiving these blessings for yourself. Then you are ready to give them to others. Begin repeating the phrases, inserting the names of those you love. When ready, insert the names of those not as close, widening the circle of intention as wide as you care to. The wider your circle of giving, the greater the impact your light will have on others, and not surprisingly, the more you will also experience happiness and well being, and discover that you have even more to give.

For variation, you may want to try using one word for each aspiration. For example, saying “Happy, Healthy, Safe, Free” over and over with the recipient in mind, perhaps while walking, is a powerful way to practice metta, too.

Metta is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Give it freely, at anytime, and to all beings.

May YOU be happy, healthy, safe, and free.